So, this post is going to be about the fact that it is so damn difficult to remember to post. It's been something like 8 months since I last posted here. I could have had a premature child by now. (I haven't, in case you're wondering.)
My friend Alex and I started another blog (yes, Idle Hands, I AM cheating on you, and no, I'm NOT sorry). It's a hockey blog. I love hockey. I mean. Have you MET me? If you have, then I have probably said the words "I love hockey" to your face. (While we're here, go ahead and hop on over to 2 Girls 1 Puck and check out the witty things I've written there. I'll wait.)
Ahhh, yes. Beautiful, it is. You can see that my colleague Alex has been much more diligent in her posting duties. I, for one, have been totally forgetting that thing exists. (Sorry Alex!!!) So it really isn't that I haven't been keeping up with hockey stuff (HOLY FREE AGENCY, BATMAN!) or that I just don't care to post. I simply forget about every blog I EVER start.
New Year's Resolution: Be better at blogging. (So it's July--we'll make this a birthday-to-birthday resolution.)
Anyway, it's time to start over. And I don't just mean my blogginess. It's time to do a hard reset and just be better. There are so many things that I want from myself. So many things that I can be. And all I see right now is wasted potential. I see a monthly donation to my gym. I see an apartment that could be so charming that currently has bare, sad walls and a bedroom that is still partially in boxes. I see a guitar gathering dust in a corner. I see a potentially beautiful voice being damaged by chemicals and ALLERGIES AAAAGGGHHH VIRGINIA! I see a brain being consumed by things like "how to be a hipster" and HGTV's "how to do all these fancy things you will NEVER actually do" instead of career-propelling things like "how to write songs so you can live THE dream" or "how to be better at your current job that you love". And all of this is born out of some laziness, yes, but also out of a fairly recently broken heart that has now known its greatest defeat to date. We're not getting into it. But let's just say I lost myself for awhile there. Forgot how to be the best version of myself without the other half that I had inadvertently and rather unexpectedly claimed (and ultimately hadn't claimed me back).
But all of that must be overcome! I have already begun to face down all of my demons and become a better version of me. To become the person I am meant to be, the person I want to be. I am woman, hear me roar? That felt appropriate. But really. Listen up, heart. You're no longer broken. It's been awhile since you've BEEN broken. You are mended. You are resilient. You are better than this dilly-dallying over frivolous little things. This is the mantra I have been repeating to my heart for the last few months. And I'm OK now. Better than OK. I'm bound for greatness.
